Birthday Reflections.

Some birthday reflections. I’ve had some amazing days in the past few months where I have really felt like myself. Days filled with so much possibility, growth, creativity and love. And, I’ve also had some really hard days. And in those days it feels like none of the above is possible or will ever feel possible again. It’s quite astounding how feelings can shift day to day.

But it has me thinking about taking one step at a time again and starting smaller. Because in those moments it feels like the only thing that will change how i’m feeling is something drastic. A huge step, a big idea. Something monumental that will change my world. When it’s really the small things that make the difference. Grounding myself, feeling what i’m feeling, writing how i’m feeling, a chat with a neighbour, a hug, a cry, music, a short walk, telling someone how i’m feeling. Those are the things.

And sometimes, the thing is to do nothing. And wait. Knowing it will pass. And remembering that hard days don’t change who I am. Hard days don’t change what I believe. They just mask it. And maybe instead, if I listen closely, they will act as a reminder.

Because there’s no escaping hard days. Just learning how to live with them.

42, I have big (and small) plans for you.

xoxo

c.